Trapped between responsibility and desire

Wow it's been almost 3 months i stopped posting .
Anyway, what's up guyssssss?
I hope y'all ok ^^

Uhmm to be honest, i don't know exactly what i want to post about.
I was using Internet , then googling and then suddenly i remember my blog. hahaha
By the way,about 1 month ago, i took an english course with my boyfriend and everything was running smoothly, i think. I course every Saturday from 11 a.m to 3 p.m. I'm enjoying it, really. I was glad for having new friends and getting new lessons exactly. It was my first time to take an english course. I've never had a course before because i just don't want to :p Uhmmmm i don't know. lol

But now i'm getting confused. My uncle suddenly came to my house and then he invited me and my sister to go with him,my aunt,and my cousins to stay overnight at Mongolian Camp in Bogor on Saturday-Sunday. Seriously i really wanna go there. It's such a good place and even a beautiful place!!!! I've never been there before. And maybe i'll never go there unless i got much money *lol.  I wanna join them but i can't. *sighs*
No one can invite me to hang out on Saturday. Never!
It's because i have to be in class every Saturday. I've been absent 2 times because i was late for registering so i don't wanna be absent anymore even tho i still have 4 chances not to be in class.
It's just because i know my responsibility. I chosen to take a course so i shouldn't be absent just because some reasons such as just for fun, right???

uhmmm well, i shouldn't be sad. I still have a chance to have fun on the other days. ^^

i feel like i'm perfect enough when you love me

i'm not a pretty girl like those who has been with you or
those who was close to you.
i'm not a famous girl.
i'm not smart enough.
i'm not a rich girl.
i have many flaw.
i may not always be what you want to be.
i can't be a girl that you've been dreaming of.
i'm not perfect and even so far from the perfectness.

but ......
when i know you love me just the way i am,
i feel like....
i'm perfect enough ..♥

boring boring boring

It's been almost 2 weeks i spent my holiday at home.
But seriously it's really,totally,extremely BORING *sighs*
I ain't had plans. I ain't had idea where to go.
Because u know, it's been raining all the time.
I just can't go out then.

I wish i could meet doraemon and then begging
to him so that he would stop the rain.

I wish..............
Hahahaha x_x

just laugh out loud

When you meet someone who's always talking sweet to you directly 

but

then they are talking shit about you behind your back,

Just say it to them ,

" do u think that u're pretty much better than me?

Just shut up and stop being sweet anymore.

It's really disgusting you know" 

And then...

you guys just laugh out loud......

A day off = happiness^^

hi hi hiiiiiiii ^^
how's it going guys?

whoaaa January :o
It seems like rainy all day, right? The sun ain't shine bright lately.
Once it does, it's just a while and then rain falls again.
Because rain falls, i'm gettin' lazy to do anything *rotfl* hahaa
i just wanna lay in my bed behind my blanket and texting or just
 listen to some songs........................... ♬♩♪hahaha

WHAT KIND OF GIRL AM I ? >.<

                   ****

Anyway; i'm free now. I mean, i just finished my exam and then
 i have many days off from campus until end of Feb or beginning of March.
But i ain't had a plan to spend my holiday. Not at all.
It's gonna be so boring (i guess).
uhmmm maybe it would be perfect if i spend my time watching dvd all day,tho . hahahaha
it sounds good right?
so i think i have to gain my dvd, i mean the movie. Korean movie (maybe) :p hahaha
I should buy some movies to watch.

And one more, it means i can meet my boyfriend frequently and
arrange a date together :p

so,here i am and.........
WELCOME HOLIDAY ♥♥
A holiday where i don't have to think about assignments, books, quiz, my lecturer, and even exams!
wohoooooooo. I'M READY......^^

hiding flaws but end up being selfish

Have you feel so mad at yourself?
Have you feel you really hate yourself?
Sometimes, someone will look so selfish, include me and you who're reading this,right?
Without realizing it, they may be so selfish to the other.
But do you know that sometimes they become selfish because of a reason?
They become selfish because they're trying so hard to hide their flaws.
They're trying to running away from their anger but instead they're trapped on it.

They might not have a choice. I mean they just have no choice except running from the reality. They're just afraid if you would keep a distance when you knew
their flaws.
They're scared if u would keep away from them.
To be honest, their heart is crying out.
They're so mad because they perfectly know they have made fault to you.
They surely know they aren't on the right side. That's a reason why they get mad and
then cry.

But don't you ever know it?
Sometimes it's only because they love you.
No, but they really love you.



-The End-

can't wait for sunday..

I actually didn’t feel good now. I mean I’m getting sick (again) *sigh*

Idk why am I so easy to get sick lately? I hate having flu. I freakin hate it . It doesn’t feel good you know.

I just got home from the hospital with my friends and suddenly my head felt dizzy after I was home.

And the thing is………………..i’ve been sneezing many times #hhhhfttttt. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I need something. I need something. I don’t need a medicine. I just need you *eh

Lol kidding!  xxx)  

                                                                                ****

Different from the story before, 2 days again is gonna be my special day. Hmmmm it’s gonna be my 5^th months anniversary with my boyfriend ^^

I’m so happy ^^. I really didn’t realize that time really flies so fast.  I’m extremely happy because almost months, I’ve never had a relationship more than 2 or 3 months hahaha  I feel so comfortable with him.

So i hope it will be long last……^^

I just can't wait for Sunday ......... <3

every problem has a way out^^

"I wish i could close my eyes until everything gets little better."

"I wish i would fall asleep for a long time and when i woke up, everything's just fine."

have that words come across your mind?

When you guys are sitting alone or staring straight at the sky or
lying down on bed alone in a dark room, surely sometime something come across
 your mind all of sudden. .
Sometime you guys close your eyes and then take a deep breath and then
throw it slowly just to feel relieved or even better.

When you all are in problem, you will start thinking something and wondering why it happens to you? Won't you?
Instead,sometime you will be wishing something awkward.

You'll always beg to God so that God will keep you away from your problem. Or you will be begging to be shown a way out.

Many things will happen in our life,whether it's a good thing or not.
But you have to be thankful for what you had.
God will never give you problem without giving you a way out.
Whenever you get mad just because something bad happens to you, just be positive guys.
You have to realize that there're many people who have problems and even
it's worst than yours.

So,always think positive to God.
And you'll get a way out soon because every problem has its way out ♥

Could someone teach me how to sketch???

Hi you guysssss ...

Guess what! I just drew something. Actually i've been drawing this sketch last night,
but it was still not colored by any color,either black,gray or white.
 hmmm actually I planned to make a sketch,

but here, i'm still not good at sketching face. haha

so I just drew this........

It was still black and white. Without coloring another colors.

This ! after I put some colors . 

Uhmmmmmmmmm.....

What do u think guys? haha

Sorry it doesn't look perfect .

Because i'm not good enough at sketching or drawing.

I need to learn more about it.

 * I'M WISHING SOMEONE COULD TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE A GOOD 

SKETCH OR ART CORRECTLY *

between bored and lazy haha

I consider changing my blogger template bcs I kinda bored with this template.

I've been searching for some templates but i haven't got a nice template yet. 

Can anyone tell me where i can find a nice blogger template for my blog?

Anw,I wanna put some stuffs here like  mp3 widget, some arts , or a chatting box  hahaha my blog is so standard,u know. 

But the thing is..........

I'M SO LAZY. hahahah

Ok. I would re-design my blog later if I wasn't lazy anymore or if I have got an inspiration . *chuckles*

I should reach it.

It's really dark outside. I think it's going to rain. 

(sigh)...

I sorta feel so happy bcs I have 3 days off from campus. 

I'm facing an exam until next week actually but about Wed and Thu, I've finished 2 exams . And another exams will start again on Monday until Friday. The question is......... 'Can I skip all these exams.?' lol

I'm just taking a rest from studying or reading my books.  I just can't read my books over time . It'd make me crazy. lol

But here, I should try to get a pretty good grade in campus. I mean, I should get an A for almost all

my studies. hahahaha I hope it'd happen :p

I have to make my parents proud of their daughter. 

Just it..^^

Homemade Cupcakes by Me and Devi ^^

yeayyy finally i come back to share my homemade cupcakes with devi. I suggest you all to see them one by one. But you better to try it lhooooooo :p 

 They Look So Cute! Yummyyyyy................ 

2 angels who's holding a flower and a lollipop...^^

Hahahaha Wanna see hello kitty without her mustaches?

Devi and I prefer make it without mustache.*LOL*

There're minions ! PAPOY ! I don't want to eat them.

They're too cute to be eaten. *chuckles*

uhmmm Barca Themes for this cupcakes. Yummy.

It's perfect for Valentine,right? The colors look matched. Blue,Pink and Purple. 

Ahhhhh SO CUTE. Do you bear to eat them?!!I don't . lol

Happy Birthday  for your Beloved^^

What if hello kitty and minion become a couple? XD

I can't post all our cupcake pictures because it's too much (i tell you lohhhh) hahahaha. so i just put a few photo .But thank you for seeing our homemade cupcakes. Wanna try it? ^^

My new happiness ^^

hi ^^
how r u all? whoaaaa it's been 2 months since i made some posts here.
uhmmm like i said before, i wanna share my story with my new one (u know that,i've posted about it bfr ).... :p
but the thing is, i don't even know where i have to start. lol . ok. kidding.

I was really happy since the 1st time i became his girlfriend (of course yes. no doubt at all).
we have been through many things even tho we're just about 3 months here. And even sometime we're fighting just bcs unimportant things. But so far, i'm really enjoying this relationship.
Sometime either me or him made each other mad . hahaha XD but that's a reason why i miss him over and over again. *chuckles*
ummm yesterday, one of my friend asked me about my relationship. and she was like
"eh how about ur relationship with reska?"
 then i was like "whuaa totally fine. we're totally fine"
then she said, "I haven't seen u sad or something like this now. Surely you two are fine"
and i answered "of course laaaa. i haven't looked sad right? yeah idk why but being with him,i always feel happy..It was totally different with my previous one" .................................

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ? Then something came across my mind. i thought why she could ask something like this. Did she always think that i never be happy with my relationship bfr,eh? did it look different, really? ._.
Hahaha now i should say "yes. it's really different."
i admit it that i rarely feel sad or whatever it is. I'm so thankful bcs we've never fought until hours or days.
Just need a little time and then we became normal again like there's nothing happened.

we took it about 3 weeks ago. we were at The Huk Family Resto ^^

Actually it was taken a few months ago and i edited that pic

for our 1st anniv hehehe

We love taking some picts with silly faces :p

HAHAHA WHAT A FACE....?!!!!!

it was same with a previous one but i just edited it :p

I LIKE THIS ONE !! REALLY !! Hahahaha

I never thought that he's perfect with his mustache *lol*

it was taken about 1 week ago. Hahaha it was really dark there,

but i forced to take a pict. XD

i'm gonna put some photos again here because i have to move our photos from my phone to my netbook.
But before i end my post, i wanna say something................

"It doesn't matter how many times we fight, how often we have fun, how many times we spend our time together. But, how many times we prove that we love each other perfectly, it does really matter" :)

I LOVE YOU REZ....{}

Have u felt it?

-Have you ever felt that u can't make ur dream come true?
-Have you ever felt that you are not able to get what you really wanted?
-Have you ever felt that you can't be the best for the person you love?
-Have you ever felt that you really wanna be together with the person you love for a long time but you never know what will be then?
-Have you ever felt that u're scared to lose that person?

-Have you ever felt you are so scared if the person you love will find another girl -another pretty girl?
-Have you ever felt scared if he will find she more interesting than you?
-Have you ever felt scared if he might leave you soon?
-Have you ever felt you're scared if he thought she's much better than you?

HAVE YOU?

And WHAT ABOUT ME?
Have I ?
Yes, I have. That's all because HE MEANS A LOT TO ME. :(

A relationship is like a ship

Hubungan itu sama kayak sebuah kapal. Kalo di dalam hubungan itu ada 2 orang yaitu ada aku dan kamu yg punya tujuan yg sama.  Kalo dalam sebuah kapal, ada seorang nahkoda dan kru yg sama2 ingin pergi ke tempat yg sama dan mempunyai tujuan yg sama pula..

Terkadang kapal goyah tapi krunya tetap percaya sama nahkodanya kalo dia akan mempertahankan kapalnya sampai tujuan. Laut itu gak selamanya tenang.
Terkadang ada badai dan ombak yg tinggi.

Begitu juga dengan sebuah hubungan. Gak selamanya tenang dan gak ada konflik .
Tapi itu semua tergantung kru sama nahkodanya itu sendiri —Apa dia saling percaya dan paham akan kondisi?

22♥

I have no time to post my story here . My love story, i mean. But know i wanna tell u all a bit about that.
but i'm gonna write down my story about him again if i can get online from computer.
Just wait guyssss.

I've told y'all that i was in a relationship right?
Yaps.
But idk . It feels like there's something ruins my feelings.lately.

Do i really love him? Yes i really do. I love him so much. And even i wish that i could have a long lasting relationship with him for sure.
I'm just kinda scared someday he wouldn't be the same person anymore. I mean he'll be different.

He's starting to make the last task in campus. I mean he'll be arranging his script to finish his study. I know he'll be busy afterwards.
BUT I WILL ALWAYS GIVE HIM SUPPORT. I WILL ALWAYS UNDERSTAND .
because i know that's all for his future.

I just hope that he would love me like the way i did.
I wish he would know how much i love him .
I might not say it frequently, but my feelings to him always be the same and
Even i will love him more and more. ♥

I might not have much time to be around you but trust me, my love always be around you and my support always for u whenever u need it.

♥ you

I Love You, Rezka♡

we're on this way

Sbenernya tujuan pacaran itu apasih?
Do y'all know,, huh?
Pacaran itu hrs punya tujuan. Buat apa pacaran tp ga ada tujuannya.
It's like you have a map but u don't even know where to go. It's useless right?
Dan tujuannya hrs jelas dooong tentunya. Pacaran itu bkn utk main2.

 C'mon guyssss you all aren't child anymore so it's not the right time to be not serious in relationship. And u all aren't kids who always dreamin' of a perfect guy like prince charming in a fairy tale. We aren't on that way anymore. We are on this way, maksudnya ya kita udh mulai dewasa masa iya msh mau main2. Kalo emg masih mau main2 mah mending pacaran aja sm anak2 smp atau sma yg masih sedikt labil.
Sometimes we have to take a step forward for a better future.

Just one person in our heart. Noted that!

If u're in a relationship, be loyal laah. Don't cheat. Don't lie. If u disappoint each other, why u jump into relationship. Tujuan pacaran itu bkn utk menyakiti satu sm lain but to love each other, to understand each other, to appreciate each other's flaws and to make a serious relationship till u get married with them^^

backkkkk

Hello alllll^^ hahaha
Finally I'm back. It has been a long time since the last time I stop writing here ya. Hahaha
How are u guys?
What about me?  Oohh I'm totally fine.
Too much stories that I wanna tell y'all . Too much something that's been happening in my life lately.
Btw I wanna tell u guys about the things that happened such as :

- GUESS WHAT! Now I'm in a relationship with someone about July, 22 2013.
His name is Rezka. He is my senior in campus. And I don't know sometimes I thought we met because of destiny.  Lol hahahaha

- FINALLY I GOT THAT STUFF. hahaha I just got a new phone that I've been dreamig. Yeaaaay
   It's white color and I like it anyway. Thanks mom for adding a little for me to get that stuff. She offered her money a bit to me, I mean. :p

Dear you...........

Dear someone in my next life,

Before I'm in a relationship, you might think that I don't respect you. You might think that I'm not sensitive. But once I give my heart to you and we get into a relationship, you'll see the difference. You'll see how much I care about you. You'll see how much I love you. You'll see how sensitive I would be. I will show you that I'm different from the others. I'll make you proud to have me.  I'll make sure that you'll get a faithful girl. ;)

   Sincerely,

        Me.
(Your next girl)

        

Woman's pray o:)

Ya Allah …
Aku berdoa untuk seorang pria yang akan menjadi bagian dari hidupku.  

Seseorang yang sungguh mencintai-Mu lebih dari segala sesuatu.
Seorang pria yang akan meletakkanku pada posisi ketiga di hatinya setelah Engkau dan ibunya.
Seorang pria yang hidup bukan untuk dirinya sendiri tetapi untuk-Mu.

Wajah tampan dan daya tarik fisik tidaklah penting. Yang terpenting adalah sebuah hati yang sungguh mencintai dan dekat dengan Engkau ya Allah. Dan berusaha menjadikan sifat-sifat-Mu ada pada dirinya. Dan ia haruslah mengetahui bagi siapa dan untuk apa ia hidup sehingga hidupnya tidaklah sia-sia.

Seseorang yang memiliki hati yang bijak tidak hanya otak yang cerdas. Seorang pria yang tidak hanya mencintaiku tapi juga menghormatiku. Seorang pria yang tidak hanya memujaku tetapi juga dapat menasihatiku ketika aku berbuat salah.
Seseorang yang mencintaiku bukan karena kecantikanku tapi karena hatiku.
Seorang pria yang dapat menjadi sahabat terbaikku dalam setiap waktu dan situasi.
Seseorang yang dapat membuatku merasa sebagai seorang wanita ketika aku berada di sisinya. 

Ya Allah….
Aku tidak meminta seorang yang sempurna namun aku meminta seseorang yang tidak sempurna,
sehingga aku dapat membuatnya sempurna di mata-Mu.
Seorang pria yang membutuhkan dukunganku sebagai peneguhnya.
Seorang pria yang membutuhkan doaku untuk kehidupannya.
Seseorang yang membutuhkan diriku untuk membuat hidupnya menjadi sempurna.

Aku juga meminta,
Buatlah aku menjadi wanita yang dapat membuatnya bangga. Berikan aku hati yang sungguh mencintai-Mu sehingga aku dapat mencintainya dengan sekedar cintaku .

Berikanlah aku penglihatan sehingga aku dapat
melihat banyak hal baik dan bukan hal buruk dalam dirinya. 
Dan Berikanlah aku tangan sehingga aku selalu mampu berdoa untuknya.

notes

fall in love is like rain

"Falling in Love is like Rain. It's unpredictable but there are always signs before it completely falls"

Love never say SORRY:)

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”

Because when you really love someone, and he has done you wrong, you have already forgiven him in your heart before he asks for forgiveness.

Dan karna Cinta itu tulus dari dalam hati. Maka itu Cinta tidak harus memerlukan kata maaf.

should i say goodbye?

hollaaaaa.
it's been 2 weeks i stop writing here.
i didn't have enough times to blogging. Btw, how are u guys?
I'm not okay. Hmmmmmm you know, from the last post here, my feelings wasn't good.
and now my feeling gets worse and even the worst.
In the morning i opened my twitter and accidentally saw him on my timeline. and I found out something.
He's in a relationship now. OMG. I was surprised and couldn't say anything at all.
Several days ago we had a conversation. I mean a short conversation. We talked about our feelings and ...............yaps finally i got the answer.We'll never be together. Never.
It hurts. Really.
But at least he said that he cared about me. That's enough for me.
Actually i've known that he was close to someone else. I knew it from twitter. And I've seen her from twitter too. I think she's pretty .hehe and they both look match. Really^^

So, what can I do now?i can't do anything except let him go.
I just hope that He would have a long last relationship with her. I hope she wouldn't make him disappointed and hurt.

For you there, thanks for making me happy. thanks for being 'just friends' with me. Thanks for being such a special guy for me. I won't regret our meeting. I won't regret everything. Congrats. Finally u found the right person for ur life. I wish you both will have a long last relationship ^^

"God, promise me that You'll protect his heart. Don't ever make him disappointed anymore. He deserves his happiness now. Let him get a faithful girl to accompany him. Let him get someone that will make him happy. Thank God for bringing me to him. Even though we wouldn't end up together, I'm quite happy meeting him and knowing him. But please God, don't ever make him forget me. I know God, it's Your best choice to keep me away from him . I won't blame on You. I know You have planned everything wisely and perfectly. I'll accept what You've given to me. Even though it's pathetic, I will always think positively. I surrender to You,God. I surrender everything to You. I know You might have prepared someone better for me, for my next life. I'll always wait for him. And until the time is right, I'll be waiting patiently. And when I got him, I promise that I would love him with all of my heart."

:3

...

If you told me that you kindly wanna try again, I would run to you . But if you told me to go away, I would go ............

dark sides and bright sides ^^

Some people surely  have a bright side and a dark side. They aren’t a perfect human. Don't judge them just by their dark sides. We also have to see their bright sides.  When we think they aren’t kind  or better or  they always do something wrong, we have to know more deeply whether what we think about that person is true or not. Don’t take a conclusion quickly.

When someone you love has a dark side, don’t push them away.  But change them. Change them to get a new bright side.  Change them to be a better person. If we said that we love them in the beginning but when we knew their dark sides we just pushed them away, then we didn’t really love them.

We only know we love them. Just it. We only love them because we know their bright sides. We only know we love them without accepting their dark sides. If we said we love them, we should help them to be a better person  instead of push them away or hate them. And we should accept them no matter who they are or how they would change to be .  

 Moreover, Love also has 2 sides. When Love can make us happy and change us to be a better person, surely it’s the bright sides from Love.  But when Love make us sad because someone we love doesn’t love us back or someone we love betrays us and then we get disappointed, surely it’s the dark sides from Love.

But you know what? Love is still beautiful. Loving someone and being loved back still become one of the happiest thing in this world,right?

So, when we love someone, we have to accept their dark sides besides their bright sides. Just enjoy what we feels.  Remember, don’t push them away but help them to change. ^^